So drunk its hurt
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
