i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
