I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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