so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
