at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
