I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
