respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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