just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
