we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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