Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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