ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
