didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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