I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
