Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
