we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
