MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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