She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
