i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
