I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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