I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
