Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
