i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we're making bets on your personal life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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