You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
