you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
