let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
