I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
