if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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