Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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