My sheets look like a crime scene.
I faked an abortion last night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
