She went from zero to smokin in five shots
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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