She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
