Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
