$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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