I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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