Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
