His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
