is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
