Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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