What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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