sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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