he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
