Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
These tits shall not be calmed
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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