i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
