i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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