I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
