Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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