yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
