Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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