using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
