Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
