Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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