so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
