I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
