I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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