So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
