They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
