last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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