he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
