He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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